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Dusk

by Darryl Rahn

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1.
I get a little bit nervous whenever I get on a plane I have this vision where everyone’s screaming out their lover’s name And then I think of my mother as I become one with the flames But nothing ever happens I get a little bit worried when people forget to call back I always figure they’re hurt or they’re lost and they don’t have a map Or maybe high on a mountain and somehow they slipped through the cracks But nothing ever happens Nothing ever happens The way I imagine it will I had it all in my head where I’d be when I turned 25 Out on the road with a band and a house by the Hollywood sign And now it feels like all that I’m doing is staying alive ‘Cause nothing ever happens The way I imagine it will I always figured that I’d be the guy to wind up on his own That all my habits were too hard to break or my heart was a stone And then I went to that party and you changed the meaning of home Nothing ever happens Nothing ever happens Nothing ever happens The way I imagine it will
2.
Company 03:47
I met you at the station We walked through Central Park Made endless conversation And stayed til’ way past dark I had no expectations A new thing I like to say But your smile brought me salvation And made a week feel like a day You never loved me but you Sure loved my company and I loved your company too You never loved me but you Sure loved my company And maybe that’s enough to get me through I wasn’t supposed to say it That I depend on you But the truth is I can’t fake it I can’t lie when it comes to you You never loved me but you Sure loved my company And I loved your company too You never loved me but you Sure loved my company And maybe that’s enough to get me through You never loved me but you Sure loved my company And I loved your company too You never chose me but you Stayed with me anyway And I’d choose you any day still
3.
Never thought I’d have to start again Never thought I’d lose my closest friend But you know what they say about God and plans I try to hide it when I’m feeling blue And I try to dumb down what I’m going through Out of fear that no one’s gonna understand I thought it’d be easier by now Living without you Joe and Emily are moving west It won’t be long before I lose the rest And I know there’s so many places I could go Maybe I should buy a house upstate Learn to garden and communicate And only live off what I grow I thought it’d be easier by now Living without you When all the dust has finally blown away And I learn to live with what I didn’t say Maybe I can read that sign out in the stars And see that all the love I’ve ever fallen in Is part of some bigger picture that I’m standing in And I’ll swear “I never thought I’d come this far” I thought it’d be easier by now Just thought it’d be easier by now Living without you Without you But I’m gonna make it through Without you
4.
She gets off at 10pm Takes her place in the McDonald’s drive-thru line Feels like a kid again A fountain soda on a humid summer night Now the day swims through her head She replays every prescription that she filled While her son’s asleep in bed She’ll convince herself that she got someone killed And it goes on like this a while And it goes on and on and on and on and on and on and on Sometimes she envies the front desk Selling packs of gum and chapstick and shampoo She’s only back there for the check Which never feels worth half the day that she’s been through What’s the measure of success? Does anybody even know what that word means? Is it too late now to start fresh? She asks herself before the final light turns green And it goes on like this a while And it goes on and on and on and on and on and on and on He says “babe, how was your day” And just like yesterday she says “let’s talk tomorrow” He kisses her head and says OK And they resume the newest episode of Fargo And she starts drifting right away The battle with her eyes is never one worth fighting Then hears the feet on the staircase Wakes back up to find her baby boy just smiling And it goes on like this a while And it goes on and on and on and on and on and on and on
5.
Sometimes I worry that this might be it I dream of a time when the fire was lit I think I was happy when I was a kid But what did I know? Standing alone on the fire escape I stare at the homes and the sky that they scrape Somehow I still think I got what it takes But what do I know? What do I know Deep in my mind tracing back to the start I’m still trying to find where it all fell apart I think that I loved her with all of my heart But what do I know? Maybe the beauty is found when you’re lost Maybe the view doesn’t outweigh the cost I think it’s all coming out in the wash But what do I know? What do I know Sometimes I worry that this might be it I dream of a time when the fire was lit I think I was happy when I was a kid And I wanna believe that Heaven exists I sure wouldn't mind all that permanent bliss I think it’s more of some great nothingness But what do I know?
6.
Still Apart 03:53
There’s still a part of me that loves you I wonder if that ever goes away A part of me that loves you Although I tried to turn it into hate And I’ve been getting on without you Making peace with everything I lost I guess the part of me that loves you Is just a little bigger than I thought There’s still a part of me that wants you Even though I know that it is wrong A part of me that wants you Even though the girl I knew is gone And I’ve been getting on without you Seeing all the reasons it fell through I guess the part of me that wants you Is just a little stronger than I knew There’s still a part of me that needs you Even though I swore I never did A part of me that needs you The same part that’s still a little kid And I’ve been getting on without you Even tried to fall in love again I guess the part of me that needs you Needs just a little longer than it’s been There’s still a part of me that loves you
7.
I think heaven’s a dive bar filled up with my friends It’s got a nice quiet backyard and good local bands Hot food in the kitchen, cold beer in a can I think heaven’s a dive bar with plenty of space Where the doors open early and stay open late And the minutes move slower the more that you waste And you always show up right on time And you’re smiling the moment you see me We split one vodka soda and lime And we sit and catch up and we kiss and make up And you need me I think heaven’s a dive bar that’s right down the block It’s got pinball and pool and I sink every shot When the band takes a break, there’s a brand new jukebox The TV’s playing westerns and old baseball games And all the bartenders remember my name When I go on a bender, I never feel shame And you always show up right on time And you’re smiling the moment you see me We split one vodka soda and lime And we sit and catch up and we kiss and make up And you need me You need me I think heaven’s a dive bar filled up with my friends It’s got a nice quiet backyard and good local bands Hot food in the kitchen, cold beer in a can
8.
The lightning flashed so bright It almost looked like Someone took a picture In the bedroom It woke me from my dream This one where I was standing In line to ride a ferris wheel And it felt so real I laid there for a while Just trying to think of something To make me laugh or smile Sifting through the pile And listened to the rain Drumming along on the AC in the window A slow crescendo You always hated storms I used to say “baby, it’s just the angels bowling” The angels bowling Wherever you are now I hope you’re sleeping sound While someone holds you tight ‘Cause they’re bowling strikes
9.
I have this vision where I’m Driving on the riverside The sun is setting to my left A new beginning where there’s No call on the other line And only love inside my chest And in this vision I am Safely on the other side Of all my long and lonesome days I make decisions and I Hold on through the rolling tide I enjoy the ride on every wave ‘Cause I know that I’m gonna be okay I know that I’m gonna be okay I have this vision where I’m Living on the countryside Counting the cars as they pass by My head ain’t spinning when I Wake up in the dead of night ‘cause The sun ain’t gone just outta sight And I know that I’m gonna be alright I know that I’m gonna be alright I’m gonna be alright I’m gonna be alright I’m gonna be alright I have this vision where I’m Driving on the riverside The sun is setting to my left A new beginning where there’s No call on the other line And only love inside my chest
10.
Downed the last drop of coffee And I went for a walk Tried to read on a park bench But just listened to strangers talk They’re all heading somewhere With a fifty year plan Feels like I’m going nowhere Am I doing all that I can? Am I onto greener plains? Am I running in place? Is there time for me to change? Am I set in my ways? Found hope in an old friend We built ourselves a home But some doors never opened So here I am back on my own Some nights I still wonder If I made a mistake And gave up on the one who Could live with the messes I make Am I onto greener plains? Am I running in place? Is there time for me to change? Am I set in my ways? I think of my grandpa And how he used to be Up at 2 in the morning To drive down to the bakery Is he here in my bloodstream Every time I won’t quit? Holding onto a pipedream Like an old shirt that never quite fit Am I onto greener plains? Am I running in place? Is it time for me to change? Am I set in my ways?
11.
In the dead of summer With the windows down In the faded color Of an evening gown I can see you sitting With your solitaire In a quiet kitchen On a creaking chair There’s a light still glowing Or at least the trace But the garden’s growing At a different pace And there’s a lone bird singing Singing out of tune As the phone starts ringing Ringing out for you I can feel you slipping Through the static sound I can feel the distance Between then and now Wanna make it better Make it all make sense Make it last forever In the present tense From the constellations On the endless wall To the conversations On a Sunday call Like the thunder crashing Over my hometown I can hear you laughing Like you’re here right now
12.

credits

released February 8, 2024

JR Atkins - co-producer (track 5), slide guitar (track 2, track 5), baritone guitar (track 2, 9), electric guitar (track 9)

Ricky Berotti - drum engineer (track 1, 3, 5, 10), bass, piano engineer (track 10), mastering engineer @ Red Convertible Recording

Annie Blackman - single cover design (track 2)

Zac Coe - drums (track 2, 10)

Noah Dardaris - drums (track 1, 3, 5)

Jessica Dimento - single cover photograph & design (track 1)

Ronnie DiSimone - producer (track 2, 9), engineer (track 1, 2, 3, 6, 9), mixing engineer

Jonathan Elyashiv - engineer (track 5), bass (track 3, 5, 6), drums (track 6),
clavinet (track 5)

Taylor Goldsmith - guitar (track 1)

Sofia Jensen - co-writer (track 2), vocals (track 2)

Matthew Koma - co-producer (track 1)

Joe Leib - single cover photograph & design (track 4, 8)

Quinn McGovern - producer, engineer (track 10), bass, piano, drums (track 10)

Jack McLoughlin - co-producer (track 6), pedal steel (track 2, 3, 4, 6, 8, 9, 11), electric guitar (track 2, 3)

Sean McVerry - co-producer (track 5), piano, synth (track 5, 11)

Chris Norris - my very good friend

Zeno Pittarelli - producer, engineer (track 1, 3, 4, 5, 6, 8), mixing engineer (track 8), mastering engineer (track 8), synth (track 6), string arrangement (track 6)

Darryl Rahn - songwriter, co-producer, vocals, guitar, piano, synth, fake drums, percussion, acoustic guitar, electric guitar, 12-string guitar

Tate Shockley - album cover photograph & design

Zoe Zeeman - bass (track 2, 10)

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Darryl Rahn New York

"When someone can captivate you with just a voice and a guitar they're doing something right."

- Brian Rosenworcel of Guster

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